I am very lucky to have a rational, mellow boyfriend. He thinks makeup is dumb and pushup bras and high heels are silly, not to mention impractical and uncomfortable -- he likes normal, real girls. So, he wondered one day if it was safe that I was using tampons ("silver bullets").
I dislike exterior protection (mostly it's the combination Diaper Redux / Ew Factor) and I was using applicator-free, unbleached, organic silver bullets instead of those nasty pink plastic applicator, baby scent-stinking silver bullets. What would be my alternative?
So I Google'd "tampon alternative" and found a little organic rubber doodad called The Keeper ("rubber doodad") at RedWomen.net. I also found plenty of information about toxic shock and dioxins that convinced me to never use silver bullets again. (Of course, there's a lot of panicky, bogus, poorly spelled, all-uppercase lettered misinformation too. Check out what snopes has to say.)
The two main benefits -- besides being organic, sustainable, and natural -- of the rubber doodad are: nothing piles up in a landfill or clogs your municipal water treatment plant, and you need only one rubber doodad for ten years.
So, I bought one.
RedWomen.net is a cottage-industry type of website. It took awhile to get a response and get my doodad -- but it came with a hand-written friendly apology / thank-you note and a pile of stickers to stick in ladies' rooms wherever I go.
This is what it looks like. You can tell he's a friendly product because he has a goofy smile and cute sneakers. He came in a girly rose-printed fabric pouch. I've since put him in my Tampon Case.
What you do is roll him up and then pop him up your cookie. Proper insertion takes a few tries, and weird rubbery suction friction-y noises come from your nether parts. If you run him under hot water first, it warms and softens the rubber.
That little dangly thing is what you use to pop him out. You tug and squeeze a little and the suction breaks.
The first couple of times you use him,
you might want to use some tissue as a backup until you perfect
its placement -- I suppose insertion is similar to a cervical
cap or a diaphragm. But, obviously, he's not a birth control
device.
I leave the doodad in all day at work. I make sure to pop it
out as soon as I get home. Though, if you had to, you could clean
it out in the stall in the ladies' room -- just make sure to
have lots of tissues ready. It holds one ounce of goo, so will
not fill up unless you are a-gushin'.
I was always aware of having a silver bullet in me and toward the end of my period, it would start feeling scratchy and sore in there -- no matter how low the absorption level (I stuck with "juniors"), silver bullets soaked up all my Natural Juicy Goodness in addition to period goo. But I feel very comfy with the rubber doodad in me.
And it will be very comfy in you, too, so just run along now and buy one and if you're shy about poking your fingers in your parts -- I mean, think of what you let other people stick in there, huh? And if your sweetie thinks it's gross or weird or way too earthy for them, just say it makes for a Healthy, Happy Cookie.
They will not be able to argue with you.
Rubber Doodad Doodles © 2001 by Molly Kiely.